There is no Off Switch on the Creativity Machine

Wow. Sorry I've been MIA. It's been a busy couple of months. I keep telling myself to take a break and come here and update, and then more stuff comes up and now it all seems overwhelming just to try and remember. Lets see if bullet-points will help me keep it brief and manageable.

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Man! It’s been over three weeks since I got the email and I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time with this post, with the sharing of this extraordinarily good news. It’s something I’ve imagined since I figured out that books were written by people, by mere humans, and that I wanted desperately to be one of them. But, here’s the thing. I never imagined this specific part. The sharing of this news.

Well, that’s not exactly true. I imagined just one thing. I imagined one of my mother’s phone calls/ emails/ conversations and I imagined her asking that question-- the one she’s been asking all these years, every since I left the University of Montana a few credits short of my journalism degree because I couldn’t stop making shit up-- “So, got your book published yet?”

Yes, I’ve imagined that many, many times. I imagined all the ways I’d say:

YES! YES I GOT MY BOOK PUBLISHED!!

I imagine if it was through email that there would be a lot of keysmash:

lsafjksda;lfjasd;lfj sdaasfkj asd;fasfjasd;ljfsda;fjsjfaslkj

If in conversation? Well, there would be a lot of high-pitched squealing and I imagine a far bit of Snoopy Dance:



She will say that she wants to hear all the details, so I will tell her about karma and luck and meeting the right people at the right time and how I never thought it actually worked like that, but how in my case, it totally did. I will tell her about the year it took me to write it and the writer's group I meet along the way and how they helped me shape the book and give it a life I never imagined.

She will not believe me, of course, but it is the truth that after spending years polishing it and more years sending it out to agent after agent, that it would be a woman I meet in that writer’s group, who saw this story in its infancy and through many, many drafts that would find me after all these years and ask me to submit it to the publishing house in which she is now an editor. She will not believe the serendipity of it, I barely believe it myself.

I will tell her all about my publisher Vagabondage Press, and will go into long and detailed explanations about the e-market and the where and whens of it. I will tell her about the marketing and publicity and how it terrifies me and that I hope I do everything right and avoid all of the mistakes. She doesn't know all the ways that publishing has changed and I will try and explain that as well. About how its not just about the story, the book anymore (though I wish it were, MAN do I wish it were) so I'll talk of platforms and social media and how an author is always on.

I will tell her about how, in all the excitement and just unimaginable joy I'm overcome with, that there is a lot of anxiety I'll be dealing with as well. How I only have this one chance to do it right. I will only be a “First Time Author” this one time. How much pressure I feel to make it count. And maybe here she'll tell me something, maybe she'll tell me what no one ever tells you; that there is a lot of terror that comes with having your dreams fulfilled.

That's how I imagine the conversation going. I imagine she will try to listen, try to comprehend, but I also know what her last question will be: "So, when are you going to be able to pay for me to travel around the world?"

Sadly the answer to that would be: "Never."

But, that is an imaginary Q & A for another time.

For now the TL;DR of this one breaks down to this:

Q So, got your book published yet?
A. YES! "From These Ashes" will be published late fall/early winter of 2012 through Vagabondage Press.

I'm sure I'll be talking about it a fair bit here. I hope that's okay with everyone. ♥ Until then, how about a bit more of the dance of glee!

Firstly, there is a poll over at crackwhore_muse about a possible prompt marathon and opinions are much appreciated. Don't know what crackwhore_muse is? Just ask and I'll tell you all about it. It's pretty awesome if we can get more people involved.

Okay. That's out of the way, I thought I'd share a bunch of links for places accepting submissions, hosting writerly things and also a few awesome blogs.

( Calling for Submissions )

( Fun Writerly Opportunities )

( Blogs for Writers )

( Shenanigans )

help_japan is a auction community raising funds to many worthy charities providing aid in Japan. People offer words (fanfic or original), art, graphics, music, food and a lot of other interesting things. The highest bidder wins.



I have offered: A postcard a month for a year

and

An original fiction story written specifically for you! ♥

Even if neither of those interest you, please take a look at all the other things being offered.

After November's soul crushing defeats, I got it in my head that I was going to try to quit writing. Quit thinking of myself as a writer. Just for a month. Just to see what it felt like.

I got out my list of "other things" that I've had piling up in a closet: arts and crafts scraps I'd planned to sew together into something usable; crap ton of books that need to be read; my volunteer job of Slush Pile reader for The Battered Suitcase; also I applied for a job as an Editor at Crescent Moon Press (Cross your fingers and think good thoughts for me, k?) So I had THINGS TO DO!

I wouldn't even miss writing. Wouldn't miss staring at a blank page and wonder "what next," wouldn't miss reading blogs about publishing, about the craft, about what's new and trendy, wouldn't miss looking for journals to submit to and wouldn't miss those lovely emails saying, "Close, but not quite for us."

A big bit of this decision was made with the knowledge I had just garnered about myself that nothing I planned went as supposed and that by not writing, by purposely refusing to consider myself a writer that I'd be back at it within a week.

Well, it took a bit more then a week. And while I'm still not really WRITING, writing, I am thinking of it. Thinking of characters, about themes, about things that NEED to said, you know, in fictional form.

Oddly enough, I've also been thinking about putting myself out there again. It all started when a friend told me about this thing. Terrifying huh? And also sort of excited. And that was when I knew. I would ALWAYS think like a writer, I will ALWAYS be a writer. Some parts of being a writer means you don't write. You sit, you ruminate, you reflect.

I'll give myself two more weeks of that before I start to put any of those thoughts, ruminations and reflections down in story form. Until then, I think I'll just sit here and think of character and see if those characters have anything to say to me or better yet, to each other.

My story is completely different than the one I started with...but that's okay. That story will be waiting for me, but until then, I'm sort of madly in love with this one. There's angst and lots of flashbacks and young boys in the cusp of discovery. *sigh*